its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize
