GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
