At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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