What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
