Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
