It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
