Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
