I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
