can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
