Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂