idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing