I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
