you suck at this game today
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in