I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
