You can't motorboat a personality
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Drunk is not a location!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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