awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
