and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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