I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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