What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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