It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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