Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
