There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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