It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
