That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I need to align my fucking chakras
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
