I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
