New invention idea: vibrating tampons
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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