i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Is it because I queefed?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
