I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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