someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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