Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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