I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
