Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
