I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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