i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
