My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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