so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
