After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
