Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
