I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
