Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Randomize
