found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
