you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
