y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
