Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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