I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
being pregnant is like rehab
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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