I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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