I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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