Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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