idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize