Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Of course I have a pirate flag
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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