I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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