Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
