this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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