its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
