And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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