It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
