my vag is so smooth its legendary
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
