don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
