she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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