How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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