Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I look better un-naked...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
