I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
