SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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