my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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