mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
